Change is one of the most certain things in life, and that applies to a fangirl’s life as well. Fads whizz by you so fast that, before you can process it, a new one comes along. New artists/performers/celebrities arrive on the scene faster than you can say “who?”, and don’t be surprised if this personality you thought would be around in the limelight for a long time suddenly drops off into oblivion. That’s change. They come and go. It’s a huge bouquet of uncertainties. But if there is one certainty in all this, it is this: once a fangirl, always a fangirl, no matter that the subject or object has changed.
“if there is one certainty in all this, it is this: once a fangirl, always a fangirl”
I’m privy to some of these, having had experience with them in one way or another in the past. When Boyzone disbanded. When Bryan left Westlife. So when Zayn Malik left One Direction, and there was the sound of young girls’ hearts breaking everywhere, I kinda knew the feeling. Never mind that I thought some reactions were over the top, but I at least knew a small degree of what they were feeling.
But that is not really what this post is all about. In a previous Fangirl Friday post, I talked about what I thought was the most beautiful moment in a fan’s life. And I narrowed it down to that moment when you are in the middle of discovering who they are.
(I feel inclined to give a progress report on my journey as an A.R.M.Y., aka Bangtan Sonyeondan (BTS) fan. Marathoning literally hundreds of YouTube videos (thank you, Big Hit Ent for the Bangtan Bombs!) I felt like I have gotten to know them more. And with every comeback they make, I am learning more and more. So keep it coming, please!)
Now I will talk about another moment in a fan’s life that I think is just as beautiful, and it has little to do with the actual personalities/artists/groups/performers that you fangirl (or fanboy, I don’t discriminate).
It’s that moment when you forge friendships with other fans.
I call them ‘fanfriends’…
The journey from being ‘just a fan’ to a ‘friend’ is an interesting story in itself.
I still remember clearly the first fan friend I ever made. I was browsing through this film-TV-and-entertainment glossy called “Glitter” (it’s no longer in publication, and no, I will not tell you how long ago this was) and there was this section called Glitter Group, where readers become members by sending in some info about themselves, their favorite artists, actors, movies, books and whatnot, and if they want to meet other people.
I have, at the time, randomly decided to try this ‘pen-pal’ thing (to those who don’t know what it is, it’s basically writing to other people and becoming friends with them via snail mail. What? You don’t know what snail mail is? Ohgawd Ifeelsoold.) I saw one Glitter Group member named “Simon” listing down his favorites, and I saw Boyzone in there. So I plucked the courage and wrote to him.
More than a week later (yes, as I mentioned, snail mail) I got a reply, and Simon turned out to be Simonette.
She’s my first pen pal. My first fan friend. These days, we don’t talk all that often anymore, but we’re still in touch in some ways.
It’s a different type of friendship. Not necessarily better or worse, but… different. Specially different.
What makes this type of friendship unique?
It is the fact that it was borne out of a shared passion for something. Or, ok, someone. Someones, even.
It’s different from, say, your childhood friend who you literally grew up with, or your best friend since you were in kindergarten. Perhaps you became friends because you happened to live next door to each other and your folks often arranged playdates so they can get some me-time of their own. Or maybe you became friends because you were lab partners and sat right next to each other. Surely, all those copying each other’s answers during exams will lead to a close bond.
It’s the kind of friendship that changes you and makes you grow. In various ways.
Just think: in the normal course of things, you would never have encountered those people, much less sat down with them, spent time with them, spazzed with them…
In a parallel universe where, say Boyzone did not exist, or Arashi never came storming in, I would never have met the fan friends that I have now.
I was never the friendliest of people (still not), but I tend to forget that fact sometimes, especially when I find myself chatting with other fanfriends – albeit virtually through the Internet.
I think fangirls – or fans, in general, so fanboys, don’t feel left out – are some of those people who have a wide circle of friends. If they are lucky, they have more than a couple sets of friends: their neighborhood pals, classmate- or schoolmate-friends, friends they met because of a hobby or an extra-curricular activity, and friends they met because of being a fan. It’s a rich circle, I tell ya, and I’d like to think that I have a fair share of that wealth.
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